This changing table is the last baby item we still have in our house. We haven’t used it for a while, but I just couldn’t bring myself to pack it up. It’s been sitting in our girls room for over 5 years now, and it holds so many precious memories.
Today when I was cleaning and trying to find spots for the girls new toys, I decided it was time. And as I stood there staring at their changing table I was overwhelmed with emotion. My eyes swelled with tears and my throat tightened.
It’s funny how in a split second all of the memories start to flood back. They were so vivid. I felt like I was right back with my first born as a baby. I remembered her laying on the changing table gazing up at me while I changed her diaper. Making little coos and gurgles. I remembered making her giggle and trying to get her to say mama when all she would say is dada.
I remember my youngest and how she would reach up and grab my hair with her superhuman grip. It’s crazy how strong babies are! She didn’t like laying on her back and would always try to pull herself up.
As I stood there with tears streaming down my face, (actually It’s was more like a sobbing ugly cry) I thought maybe today’s not the day. Maybe I’m not ready to accept that the baby years are long gone.
Just then, my girls came barreling through the door laughing and squealing. They both stopped dead in their tracks as soon as they saw me. I tried to quickly wipe my tears but the questions started flowing. What’s wrong Mama? Are you OK? Did you get hurt? Are you sad?
They both ran over and threw their little arms around me. “It’s OK Mama, we’ve got you.” And just like that my throat tightened and the tears started up again. Although this time, it was happy tears.
These tears were tears of overwhelming love, joy, and pride for these incredibly beautiful sweet girls that were embracing me.
I told the girls my plan of packing up the changing table to make room for other things. I told them I wasn’t sad, that I was just thinking about when they were babies and how fast time has gone by.
My 5 year old said, “I get it Mama, but just think, you won’t have to smell that stinky smell anymore! Or get poop on your fingers!” And just like that my tears turned into laughter.
“Alright, let’s do it!”, I said feeling much better about the whole thing. The girls offered to help, and as we took apart the changing table, I told them different diaper changing stories. Some sweet, some silly, all wonderful.
They asked what I was going to do with their changing table. A little worried that their memories were going to be discarded. A look of relief washed over their faces when I told them that we were going to save it to use for when they got older and came home to visit with their babies. “I love that idea! You think of everything!”, my oldest said with a big smile.
Before I knew it the changing table was in pieces. And as I sat there packing it all up, my heart was happy and full. It was time. I don’t have tiny babies anymore, I have little girls. Amazing, smart, loving little girls!
The days are long but the years are short. Man does that saying ring truer than ever right now.